Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A few weeks ago my dude and I went to see Paranormal Activity. Paranormal Activity? you say, exactly. I knew nothing about the movie except the little blurb I read on a random movie listing website that was literally one sentence long. In a nutshell a couple is bothered by a demonic presence and they can't sleep at night. The same sentence is on the movie's official website. I thought okay, how are they going to stretch this one out, but I went along in the spirit of fun.
Let me just say right here that I love scary movies, but dear reader I haven't been afraid in a movie theater for a looooong time. least of what's on the screen. Anyway I go in not expecting much, footloose and fancy free, then the lights go down. I'm not going to spoil the movie for you, but I'll just say it was pretty scary in a creepy stick with you sort of way. I've been telling everyone I know that they should go see it and I don't ever recommend movies. The two leads are very natural and believable so much so that I forgot I was watching a scary movie. When the creepy stuff starts you're totally taken off guard. The movie was punctuated with gasps and actual screams, with more than a few guys chiming in. Go see it, go see it,!

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dear Bento

Nice to meet you! Let me introduce my four food groupies: veggie, cheese, egg, hummus, crackers and apple.

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Friday, October 23, 2009

An open letter to the old Supreme Trading

Dear old Supreme Trading,

First of all, what should I call you now? You've undergone a transformation into "N8" yet I still see you in event listings as "Supreme Trading." I get it. It's because you're located on N. 8th Street. That's pretty clever.

But maybe I'm not pronouncing it correctly. I mean is it the letter "N" followed by the number "8" or is it like "Nate" in the same way that "8" becomes "ate" when one says "L8er sk8er?" Letter/Number combinations can be confusing.

Second of all, I was under the impression that you wanted to be a nightclub now. What's going on with your sound? Do you realize how horribly screechy it sounds -- especially in that front room? Don't you want to be taken seriously?

Also, what's with the state of general disarray inside you? Honestly, are you finished? Your unisex bathroom is a hot mess. I don't invite people over while I'm in the middle of showering and getting ready. Maybe you should spruce yourself up a bit before letting people in too.

And finally, why did my friend Tom have to pay $20 for two Coronas and a PBR while we were at you? That's math I can't even process. Is that $7 a Corona and $6 a PBR or is it $8 a Corona and $4 a PBR? Either way, it's a rip-off. You're in Brooklyn. You need to price your drinks accordingly.



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Thursday, October 22, 2009


E.V. Day's costume exhibition (sans mannequins) at the New York City Opera.

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An open letter to Cielo

Dear Cielo,

Why is it harder for me to get into you than it is for me to get back into America when I go to Canada without my green card?

Is it truly necessary for you to inspect every cigarette out of a cigarette pack? Can I really not bring in my bottle of Aleve if it is no longer sealed. Because honestly, if I wanted to sneak drugs into you, I would just hide them in my underwear.

I don't really know how we got here. Rumor has it someone OD'ed. But honestly, don't you think you've gone a little far?

And by the way, if I see something, I doubt I'll say anything. Club kids stick together. This isn't the MTA and I'm not being inappropriately felt up during rush hour. Your patrons probably need a little something extra once they get inside to forget the fact that they're paying $12 for well vodka sodas.

Oh and also, you should know that people are now just doing their drugs outside of you before they get inside. Your methods are really just making it hard for them to pace themselves, which kind of sounds dangerous to me.



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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Dear Bento Box

I will master you, eat you and take photos of you. Why are you so awesome?

I've been obsessing lately over Bento Boxes and the amazing things you can do to the lunch box. Although originating from Japan, the land of all things cute, the art of lunch boxing is pretty much a global phenomena. We've all packed our lunches in one way or another, wimpy turkey sandwiches and a crapass plastic bag of old carrot sticks, left overs from the night before stuffed in a recycled take out container . . . sounds kinda depressing compared to the Japanese who have taken the "Sandwich Artist" term to a whole new level. I mean, a piggy rice mold and sunflower hard boiled egg? I'm not sure if I can eat another sandwich EVER again!
According to NY Times, (that's how serious this has gotten) the visual aesthetic of a Bento Box is a great way to command portion control and lure the non-foodie over to enlightened side of "really, really good lookin" food. Because of all of these reasons and because I love food and all things cute, small and hello kitty, I have pledged a vow to become a "Bento-ist" a Bento Artist! Stay tuned to Dear Bento Box for future photos and adventures!

(You can buy the above Bento Box from Goodbyn)

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Drinking discoveries: The porron

In a tragic turn of events, B and I were turned away from tonight's Poprally event because it was oversold. Apparently Spike Jonze put a hundred people on the guestlist. I am now thinking twice about going to see Where the Wild Things Are

Still, the evening wasn't a total loss. We managed to squeeze in a fantastic dinner at LES restaurant Macondo. We arrived in time for happy hour, or as they call it "Porron Hour," and got to experience something new -- drinking out of a porron.

Porrones look a whole lot like bongs but they are actually wine pitchers that pour a very thin stream of liquid into your mouth. From 5-7pm, Monday through Friday, Macondo offers a menu of tapas for six dollars and each tapa ordered gets you a mini porron filled with beer with a hint of Fresca (it's tastier than it sounds.)

I learned from the coasters that "for centuries porrones have been used to easily share drinks around the table" in Spain. This means there's only one porron to wash when the meal is over as opposed to several glasses. Genius. Thank you Spain!

And thank you Macondo for introducing me to a new drinking vessel! I recommend heading down there and getting your porr-ON! The food rocks too. Macondo = win/win.

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POTD - Picture Of The Day

Hello Kitty - Interal Organs, kinda cute and kinda gross weird.
(Cheers to TokoyoMango!)

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Latest news in Collab-ashion!

Function: noun
Etymology: Brooklyn, Lazyrobots, from the Late Latin collaboratus, past participle of collaborare to labor together and Middle English facioun, fasoun shape, manner
Date: 21st Century

1 : to collaborate fashion ideas
2 : to sell out to giant fashion moguls
2 : basically making yo shizzle cheapizle!

Jill Sanders for Uniqlo, black is the new, New Yorker, may have to take a sick day to hit up Uniqlo, last time I was there, the velvet roped-off line was a bit lame!

Jimmy Choo for H&M, now, you, your mom and next door neighbor can be Carrie Bradshaw and this will leave you with enough $$ to take cabs everywhere, considering stiletto heels are not kosher for NYC streets

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Speaking of artin' it up... the Museum of Art and Design in Columbus circle, you can definitely get your art on. They have an amazing new exhibit called Slash:Paper Under the Knife which features, duh, paper. There is a resurgence in the popularity of paper in the art world currently, not just as a ground but also as a sculptural medium. The new exhibit features some incredible ways artists are using paper. You definitely get the spectrum of paper uses as you walk through the two floors of the show. You'll see everything from the arts and crafts cut and paste to some intensely personal, imaginative and artistic pieces. My only complaint would be that when we went, 4 days after the exhibit opened, some artists were STILL installing their work. On the one hand it was nice because you actually got to talk to the artists about their works and processes, but on the other hand it was pretty lame to see unfinished pieces in a museum. Slash will go on until April 4th, so you've definitely got time to swing by and check it out.

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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dexter is what's up at Sweet Ups on Sundays

Living in the NYC, one must often sacrifice luxuries that suburbanites take for granted. Great big closets, washers, dryers and dishwashers are reserved for the lucky few. And for many people, including myself, cable television also falls into the "can live without" category.

The reasoning: you're not going to be home all that much so why not save that money for where it really belongs -- your local watering hole.

This usually goes by without a hitch but can be a bummer when your friends with cable -- a distinct group who are either older, have been in New York longer or are seriously coupling -- start talking about how awesome the last episode of True Blood or Dexter was.

But thanks to Sweet Ups, a quaint little bar on Graham Avenue near the corner of Grand Street in Williamsburg, I can fulfill my infrequent desire to catch cable programming without giving up my need to be out on the town!

Every Sunday night, Sweet Ups is showing new episodes of Dexter and featuring theme cocktails (such as the "Dexter Daiquiri" and "Miami Mojito") for you to throw away all that money you're saving on! It's a win-win situation.

See you at Sweet Ups, Dexter fans!

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Sunday, October 4, 2009

The pros and cons of shows in New York

One of the things I enjoy the most about living in New York, and it’s probably evident from the posts you see from me, is all the great bands that breeze through this city that I might otherwise never see.

In the past 10 days, I’ve seen Phoenix, Fever Ray and Mono (the Japanese one). Here’s why each show was awesome and why you should be jealous.

Though the Phoenix show ran rampant with dude bros -- I’m talking hordes of early 20’s, backwards-hat wearing, straight up douche bags -- they played a fantastic encore including a song they co wrote with Air for The Virgin Suicides score called "Playground Love" and the commercially friendly “1901” not once, but twice!

Fever Ray was amazing but I couldn’t see anything. Seriously, it feels like the only people who like the same bands as me are guys over six feet tall and they all get to shows before I do.

Luckily, there were giant rave-type lasers to keep me entertained. And the sound was lush and bass-heavy. Also, this is Fever Ray’s only and last tour so I’m feeling very lucky that I caught them.

And Mono, well I guess the only bad thing about this show was that I saw them earlier this year with the Wordless Music Orchestra. Note to self – you’re never going to have a better experience seeing a band than when they’re backed by a 23-piece orchestra.

Still, they were stellar, as usual. Mono’s songs come in waves of all sizes, starting out with small rollers crashing gently onto the shore and building to epic tsunami-sized giants, the types of waves that carry sharks with them to snack on surfers.

Check out “Ashes in the Snow” from their latest album Hymn to the Immortal Wind to see just what I mean. And stay tuned to Lazy Robots for your habitual dose of cool music, art and adult diaper happenings from the NYC!

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Friday, October 2, 2009

TGIF: Stupid Dancers

These two all female dance crews are so dope they are stupid. Can't even stand it, even though We Are Heroes picked up this season's ABDC award, still think the Beat Freaks from season 3 were better all around dancers, poppers, isolationists, what have you. I did appreciate Hiro, We Are Heroes' group leader's wacking in this interview video.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009

ARTIN' IT UP! James Mother&#^@in' ENSOR!

As summer winds down to a bitter hella cold, we're left often wondering, "what in the heck did we do during all those non-summer months,"(besides frequenting our usual drinking holes, I mean). The bots, I do have to say are great at "Artin' it up!" It helps that the NYC is loaded with art every corner we turn. But, as I write this blog I realize in lazy typical fashion, the art show in which I will speak of is, OVA!
The James Ensor show @ MOMA just closed :( damn, stan, my apologizes.

For those of you that managed to take any art history courses in your academic careers Ensor was this wacky Belgian Expresssionist painter who was crazy about the ocean, death and light. But MOMA surpasses these themes to present a show that traces Ensor's development as an artist and one who appreciated both human comedy and tragedy. Thankfully for those of you that missed the show, MOMA still houses a great interactive website here.

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So picture it, Brooklyn at the ungodly hour of 5am on a weekday. My dude is walking me to the train. We're walking in silence with the occasional yawn or a sleepy grunt that means, look out for that dog poo! In the distance by the very entrance to the L we're trekking to we see two women. Of course anyone that's accustomed to walking around during ungodly hours of the morning is a bit leery of anyone else you come across. Also due to their dress, and I don't mean to jump to conclusions here folks, but I'd say they were a couple of prossies. As we get closer we hear them chatting away. Then one goes "I said you need depends!". "What?", says the other. "I told him Depends!I said! You need adult diapers." What a way to start the morning, picturing a prostitute with a trick that needs adult diapers.

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